Today started with a poppyseed bagel and goat cheese with peppercorns. The goat cheese is made locally by a man who has goats. Of course! We bought the cheese in a small cheese shop that I love. The proprietor is a cheese aficianado. He sells cheese the way wine sellers sell fine wines. He is knowledgeable and friendly. Most any cheese in the shop that can be sliced is available for tasting. He recommends cheeses and describes how they taste. I don’t drink wine but I love cheese.

Truth be told I shouldn’t be eating much cheese but recently, after
having some health problems, I learned that my allegedly healthy diet
may have been the cause of one of my health problems. Now I am less
stringent about how I eat. I am thinking that it’s possible that one of
these days they’re going to tell us that high cholesterol is caused by
an insufficient consumption of chocolate and they were wrong all along
about some saturated fats. I’m not to the point of being a nutritional
wildwoman in my change in eating habits but if I want cheese and even
some chocolate and an occasional french fry or three, I EAT THEM! Today
I have dined on lovely goat cheese and a Pina Colada juice as well as
Indian Mysore coffee. No day can start better than that!

I have a chocolate layer cake for later. For after we eat sandwiches
with sweet Lebanon bologna, horseradish cheddar cheese, whole wheat
bread. For after we eat the chicken with curry, cumin, cayenne pepper
and ground cashews in a yogurt based sauce. This is very good!

Today didn’t really start with the food though. I neglected to
mention that I came downstairs in my bathrode, turned on the computer,
and checked for my email and internet messages just like how many
million people in the world today? This is a daily tradition now that
we take for granted. The email doesn’t stop for Christmas or any other
holiday. If we had a major power failure, it would stop but how often
does that happen?

Last night I corresponded through email with online friends. The
sister of one friend was visiting her. My friend lives down south.
We’ve never met. My friend, her husband, and her sister were all on
different computers at the same time in the same house on Christmas
Eve. This is funny! The sister commented on it, on how we were
communicating with each other on Christmas Eve on our computers. Our
traditions on Christmas Eve and Christmas extend to hanging out with
each other on our electronic boxes. Most of us have never met. This is
a nice thing too. Few who have computers need ever be completely alone
if they are comfortable socializing through their blue or grey or
screensaved windows on the world.

I posted last night about Christmas traditions of over 20 years ago
that ended when I left the circle of that large noisy Italian family.
Now I have in-laws who live a three hour drive away. They are on good
terms with their son, my husband, but interestingly the three of them,
my son and his parents, don’t get together for Christmas day or eve.
They leave it loose as to when they’ll celebrate Christmas. Some years
it hasn’t been till spring that we’ve gotten there to exchange
presents, eat meals together, and catch up on stories. One year it
wasn’t till October! My in-laws this time are endlessly patient. They
are so patient that I feel guilty about how late we get there! Yet I
appreciate their patience.

My mother-in-law loves to shop and find great bargains. She loves to
buy us presents. By the time we see her, whenever we see her, she has
bags of presents for us. Some are useful. Some less so. I know she has
great fun shopping for them and buying them. She loves to share the
story of the find. How much it was priced before a markdown and how
little she paid. She is an excellent shopper. One of my great regrets
is that I have never gone to shop with her at all the stores where she
finds her bargains. But I am not a big shopper. So the regret is in
fantasy only. The reality might not have been anything like the fantasy
of the shopping trips I have missed. Did that make sense? I hope so.

Our Christmases these days are loosely planned. We decide just days
before THE day what we are going to do, if anything. Sometimes we must
seem to be drab people to others who love the flash and glitz of
holidays if they knew us well enough to know what we are doing. I
agree. One person’s drab is another’s joy, peace, and quiet.

Some Christmases, like this one, I don’t put up a tree and decorate.
Some Christmases, like this one, we don’t go to visit anyone, no one
visits us, and we’re satisfied with each other’s company and the more
remote company of internet friends and strangers. These days this is
not so different from the Christmases of a lot of people in the world.
Some might even find it enviable. We’ve had Christmases where we have
done less. One Christmas a few years ago I spent part of the day having
myself photographed by my husband as I stood outside in the snow, arms
outstretched, with a sheet over my head so that I could have a picture
of myself as a ghost to share with my online friends. I may have that
jpg file around here some place to share. I’ll have to look. Here it is!

The Ghost of Christmas Past
From Christmas 2002

So we have no presents to unwrap today, no children to watch
unwrapping presents, no need to drive somewhere else for dinner, no
stress, no big party, not even any church. I haven’t turned the TV on
yet. I am still in my bathrobe and it is 11:30 AM. The computer has
taken the most of my time so far and it’s been enjoyable. Some people
might think I should be unhappy because our Christmas is so different
from the projected ideal. To me it feels like a fine Christmas. I’m
happy with it. I’ve enjoyed the other kinds of Christmases too, the
kind where there are lots of live people and children and rush and
bustle and others cooking food and lights and the sound of wrapping
paper being crinkled and Christmas music and conversation and the
smells of roasting ham or turkey or tomato sauce and pine trees and
baby diapers and alcohol and cigarettes and beer and wine and … uh oh
…. let’s stay away from the memories of the beer and wine and what
happens then! Quick! Think of the decorated trees and the friendly
people and the nice aunts and uncles who kiss on the cheek and hug and
give great presents! Hmmmm.

It’s a fine fine Christmas and not a tradition because here our
tradition is loose. We have a tradition of no traditions. Each
Christmas is its own day, forms its own memories. Each Christmas is its
own present to us and may or may not be a surprise. We like our
Christmases to be like a wrapped present which isn’t figured out till
you take the paper off and then you find out what it is. The answer may
be different or it may be the same but the answer is never known till
it’s Christmas.

Merry Christmas!

Snicks