In the recent communications from my daughter I learned that all gifts, flowers, and cards sent to her in the last 10 years by myself or my mother had been put in the trash. I don’t know what my mother sent to her. I hadn’t sent much as I thought there was a good chance that the trash would be the place she’d put it. Unfortunately, there was one thing that is really a shame that it went into the trash.

Several years ago relatives in Finland put together a well
researched and illustrated genealogy of the family that went back to
the 1500’s. They had it published as a hard bound book in a limited
number and gave it to several hundred relatives, mainly in Finland but
a few in the U.S. They had gathered photos for it and had done
considerable research. Our ancestors went through many trials and
tribulations in centuries past. They experienced war and famine and
disease on a regular basis. Large families and the deaths of children
were the norm. They were hardworking carpenters, farmers, sailors, and
business people. When there was a family reunion in Finland shortly
before this genealogy was published, there were over 400 people present
at the reunion including three from the United States: my mother, my
younger uncle, and a cousin.

My mother received three copies of the book and sent two to me so
that I could have one for myself and could give one to my daughter. I
sent one to my daughter, hoping that she would open the package before
deciding to put it in the trash. Since it was a hardbound book and had
some weight to it, I hoped that she would open it to check on what it
was before consigning it to oblivion. Apparently, she put things
straight into the trash without checking to see what they were. If she
didn’t want the genealogy, I am sure one of the second or third cousins
would have liked to have had it. It’s gone.

For those of you who wonder about whether to send things to the
person from whom you are estranged, keep this in mind. Perhaps if the
object has some special significance and can’t be replaced, you might
send it to a third party. Assuming that you know of a third party who
wouldn’t mind being asked to explain to the estranger why they are
bringing this item and why not to throw it away.

Snicks