Estrangements.com<\/a> and from posts of mine that she found on an online discussion board. While she said at one point within the last week that she had thrown all emails from me away back in 1995, now she says that she has things that I wrote to her back then or shortly after. To her it seems important to say that she threw stuff that I wrote out and that she kept stuff I wrote. In the former the point seems to be that she threw it out and let it go long ago, unlike myself who is still talking about estrangement. In the latter the point seems to be that she kept it so that she could reread it and piss herself off all over again and prove to herself how much I am worthless.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
It is as though we are communicating now by each writing on the
\ninternet. She is responding on the internet as though if she does it
\nthat way, she doesn’t have to concede that she is talking to me. <\/p>\n
I wrote the blog on Estrangements.com and stand in back of every
\nword that I wrote. Which doesn’t mean that when I SPECULATE about the
\nreasons behind events that I am always right. When you don’t know what
\nis in someone else’s mind and you speculate, you are SPECULATING. Which
\nmeans that I can be right or wrong, I am talking out loud in type on
\nthe internet as ideas come to me. Not everything that I ask myself or
\nthe world or that I wonder about is necessarily what is happening. <\/p>\n
For someone who says that she doesn’t care about me, my daughter is expending an awful lot of energy on what I’ve written. <\/p>\n
I have learned that my ex and her husband both wanted her to
\nreconcile with me. I appreciate that. I didn’t know that. She writes
\nthat now her husband is angry at me too. I haven’t looked at everything
\nI’ve written since I put this website up but I am sure that there are
\nthings written there that would piss off just about everyone involved,
\nespecially where I speculate. So if I have pissed my son-in-law off, I
\nam sorry. I do thank him for ever trying to get her to change her mind
\nabout me. I didn’t know she knew about any phone calls. I can’t recall
\nthat there were many and I certainly didn’t talk to many relatives
\nabout this. Many? Actually very very few and rarely and the most recent
\nwould have been about 8 years ago.<\/p>\n
I owe my ex a thank you too for trying to get her to reconcile. I
\ntake back what I said about my ex and my son-in-law trying to influence
\nher against me. I did not know the truth and I do appreciate their
\nefforts. I will go through what I wrote later and put an addendum note
\neverywhere I find that I did that so that her assertion that they did
\ntry to get her to reconcile is noted. (Note added Nov. 5: I did go and
\nlook for these statements but didn’t find anything on
\nestrangements.com. Any reference by me to that must have been in the
\ndiscussion board where I had been a member since early 2004.)<\/p>\n
I am willing to take a lie detector test to stand behind everything
\nthat I have written that I have stated as fact. I won’t pay for the
\ntest but if someone else wants to pay for the test, I will take it.<\/p>\n
On her website she is going over things now about my divorce from
\nher father that happened 20 years ago. I will respond to this one
\nassertion of hers. That my ex-husband stopped speaking to me because I
\nhad an affair. That is not why he stopped speaking to me. We had both
\nagreed when we separated that we would remain friends. We remained on
\nspeaking terms, although we were not really friends, for about a year.
\nThen I got very angry at him because he did not give me two items of
\nmine that were of no monetary value but which were books that I had
\ntreasured from my childhood. I wrote him the most angry letter I had
\never written to him and expressed my contempt for him. That is when he
\nstopped speaking to me. It was not due to the affair and I had good
\nreason to …. Never mind. It is easy to get baited into going over old
\nterritory like the problems in our marriage and why I had an affair and
\nleft him. I certainly didn’t have the affair in order to remain
\nmarried! I told her father about it and decided to leave him right when
\nit first happened. But then I didn’t leave immediately. I should have.
\nOur marriage continued for one and a half years after I told him that I
\nwas going to leave. He begged me not to leave. It was all very painful.
\nWe both went through a lot of pain. He was later very bitter.<\/p>\n
I am not going to defend myself currently on any of the other
\npoints. I could but I won’t. Why bother? I do think she’d do well to
\nsee a therapist but she is too anti-therapy to go. I am writing this
\npost more for her and for anyone who knows her that might come here
\nthan I am for whomever usually reads my blog and estrangement.com. So I
\napologize to those of you who have not seen her website and have not
\nread what she is currently writing there. Suffice it to say that if you
\nuse your imagination and know that she interprets everything in the
\nworst possible light and as though I should have known stuff that I
\ndidn’t know, that you will get a good idea of it. Also, while she has a
\nfit if I mention something that happened 20 years ago that she did, she
\nis going over stuff from that same period that I did and criticizing me
\nwith absolutely no idea of what was in my mind at the time.<\/p>\n
The odd thing is that she thinks that I am having a monologue and
\nshe apparently thinks that she is having a dialogue but with someone
\nother than me. In other words, she tells herself that she is not
\ntalking to me. <\/p>\n
She thinks that my giving my experience of this estrangement on
\nestrangements.com is a reflection on her personally. I guess she thinks
\nthat I have set it up to make her look bad or to make others in the
\nfamily look bad. She thinks that if I share a story and don’t mention
\nsomething that she thinks I should have mentioned, that I have
\ndeliberately left it out to make her look worse or me better. It
\ndoesn’t occur to her that there might be another explanation that is
\nneither devious or negative. Or that I did write about it somewhere
\nelse in the blog and she didn’t see it.<\/p>\n
I am pretty sure that I did write in my blog (not in the Live
\nJournal section) a long time ago about my mother’s trying to blame
\nanything that might happen to me on my daughter in a letter that she
\nwrote to my daughter. I’ll look for it later. Oh God! Despite my
\nattempt not to respond to more points, I am going to address this point
\nthat my daughter has on her website. She read in a post of mine on
\nFamily Rifts that I had felt suicidal and she takes THAT as PROOF that
\nI WAS SUICIDAL and that I did tell someone and that telling someone is
\nDESTRUCTIVE. Of course the person that I told was a PSYCHIATRIST, not a
\nfamily member! I was not suicidal and I told a PROFESSIONAL. Feeling
\nsuicidal is a SYMPTOM of clinical depresson, not a manipulation of
\nothers. My mothers used threats of suicide to manipulate people. I
\nNEVER NEVER EVER DID THAT! Nor did I ever tell my mother that I felt
\nlike that. I ONLY told my mother that I was taking medication for
\ndepression. Robin wants to think the worst of me for that. She equates
\nmy telling my mother that I took an antidepressant with my mother’s bad
\nbehavior!<\/p>\n
I have no regrets for having the website. She wouldn’t have
\nreconciled with me anyway. She does not care about me at all, not in
\nthe least. She does care about whether someone who doesn’t even know
\nher thinks that she isn’t absolutely adorable in every way. She doesn’t
\ncare about people who are in pain from estrangement, neither me nor
\nanyone else. All she thinks about is whether I say things of which she
\napproves. She doesn’t give two figs about the value of a website on
\nEstrangement to anyone.<\/p>\n
I don’t write my blog to be right or wrong. I write my blog because
\nit is my experience which I share so that others who are interested in
\nestrangement too and who are coping with an estrangement can see how
\nthis one person, me, perceives it. If others who I encountered in my
\nexperience don’t agree with my experience of it, that is their right
\nsince they only have their own experience of it. If we all got into the
\nsame room and talked about it, I’ll bet we’d have as many different
\nperceptions of it as there were people in the room. I can’t speak for
\nthem and they can’t speak for me. I speak of MY experience.<\/p>\n
Well, there are other things in life than estrangement so I think it
\nwould be a good idea if I went and did them rather than stay stuck at
\nthis little computer all day.<\/p>\n
Take care out there, whoever you are. Friend, foe, whatever,<\/p>\n
Snicks<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Robin has now cut and pasted and responded on her website to a whole host of points that she disagrees with that I have on Estrangements.com and from posts of mine that she found on an online discussion board. While she said at one point within the last week that she had thrown all emails…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,69],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-332","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-for-parents","category-weblogs"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/estrangements.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/332","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/estrangements.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/estrangements.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/estrangements.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/estrangements.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=332"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/estrangements.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/332\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/estrangements.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=332"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/estrangements.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=332"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/estrangements.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=332"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}