Do you remember the children’s story about the Princess and the Pea? The Princess was the girl who was made so uncomfortable by the presence of a Pea under her mattress that she needed many many mattresses laid one on top of the other before she was able to sleep. This was the test of a True Princess. It was only a True Princess who could discern the presence of the Pea through multiple mattresses. Commoners would be able to sleep without feeling the Pea. <\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
In the fairy tale this extreme sensitivity was considered to be a
\ngood thing. Therefore, the most delicate and sensitive girl was the
\nTrue Princess. In real life, being a Princess can be a pain in the butt
\nto everyone else. Save us all from the Prince and Princesses of the
\nworld!<\/p>\n
We all have known people who became estranged from someone for
\nreasons which were easy to understand and with which we could
\nempathize. Then there are the people who have estranged themselves from
\nthose who loved them for reasons that are more difficult to understand.
\nIn a previous post I referred to our friend, Aaron. It was a post about
\nlogic and I talked about naming logic after people so that my husband
\nand I refer to a kind of logic as Aaron Logic.<\/p>\n
At times Aaron is estranged from his eighty-plus year old father.
\nThe reason for the last estrangement between Aaron and his father was
\nthat Aaron’s father refused to buy a residence near Aaron. Aaron took
\nhis father out to see properties for sale in his area. Aaron’s father
\nhas lived in the same neighborhood for decades. He has many friends
\nthere and coffee shops and other places that he loves to visit. The
\nfather can walk to these places every day. If he had to drive to this
\nneighborhood from Aaron’s neighborhood, it would be difficult for him
\nand even hazardous as he is in his eighties and doesn’t do much
\ndriving. The father didn’t want to move and refused to buy a property
\nnear Aaron’s home. Aaron, using his Aaron logic, felt rejected by his
\nfather and took this refusal as a grave insult. Aaron stopped speaking
\nto his father. Aaron passes the test for being a Prince.<\/p>\n
While the story of the Princess and the Pea was a fairy tale that
\ngave us pleasure to hear when we were children, the story of the
\nPrincess and the Estrangement that some of us experience as adults in
\nReal Life is more of a nightmare than a fairy tale. Some children grow
\nup to be adult Princesses and Princes, cutting us off for reasons that
\nmake sense to themselves by their own unique brand of Royal Logic. <\/p>\n
What is the Pea? Gosh, it can be so many things, this Pea. The list
\ncould be endless without ever becoming a Watermelon-sized Pea. There
\nare Princes and Princesses who can be irritated by just about anything.
\nI’ll bet you know one or two Princes and Princesses. People who are
\nbugged by everything. Who whine and complain, moan and groan, as though
\nthey are the only ones in the world who have it so tough, the only ones
\nin the world with such terrible parents. They carry on so much that you
\nknow that if you said one word in praise or defense of their parents
\n(or their former friend or whomever is the Pea of the Day) that the
\nPrincesses and the Princes of the world would stop talking to you too.
\nSo you don’t say a thing and you nod your head in agreement and you
\nsay, "Oh yes, oh yes, you poor poor sad Prince(ss), you poor thing, you
\nhave had it so very tough. Yes. Let me give you a hug, you poor poor
\npitiful thing." Then you turn around, roll your eyes, and go find
\nsomeone who is less of a prima dona to spend the rest of your day with.<\/p>\n
So? Do you know anyone like that?<\/p>\n
What is the moral of this story? The moral of this story is that
\nthere is considerable value to being a Commoner, to being able to let
\nsome things slide off your back, to choosing your battles, to getting
\nperspective, to developing a thicker skin and not looking for the fly
\nin every soup. Sometimes the fly in the soup is just parsley! <\/p>\n
Some things aren’t worth fighting over. Life is short. Insomnia is a
\nbitch. Don’t lose sleep over the Pea under the mattress. Don’t lose
\nsleep over the rejections of the Princes and Princesses of the world.
\nLet them live in their Fantasy Castles of Slights and Disappointments
\nand Grudges if they must but you? You must get out into the world and
\nenjoy yourself and don’t let a Prince or Princess get you down because
\nthey are so very very delicate that they can’t let themselves have a
\nrelationship with you.<\/p>\n
There are a lot of people in the world who do enjoy your company,
\nwho do want to see you, who do appreciate you, and whom you enjoy
\nseeing. Get yourself out there and spend your time with them. Let the
\nPrinces and Princesses congregate in their cold lonely stone castles
\nwhere they can look under every mattress for the Pea while the rest of
\nus go and hang out with the Commoners of the world and have a good
\ntime. <\/p>\n
Maybe occasionally us fun loving Commoners can allow ourselves to
\nhave a sad thought about the Princes and Princesses who have rejected
\nus. We can stop and bow our heads and shed a tear but then we have to
\nremind ourselves that it is their decision not to have us in their
\nlives. That they always have the choice to recognize that a Pea is just
\na Pea and not a Watermelon. Then, once we have reminded ourselves of
\nthat and done our mourning, we can pick up our heads, go forth and
\nenjoy all the wonderful people who are in our lives. If we don’t know
\nenough fun loving Commoners, the good news is that we can have fun
\ngoing out and finding Commoners and not depend on Princes and
\nPrincesses to fill the empty places.<\/p>\n
Once upon a time I had a refrigerator magnet on which were the
\nwords, "Don’t let the turkeys get you down!" I am amending that saying
\nto read: "Don’t let the Prince(ss)’s of the world get you down!" On
\nthese words I will leave you for today which is my Birthday! I am going
\nto go and do some fun things today. I hope you go and find some fun
\nthings to do today too.<\/p>\n
Snicks<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
OR Don’t Let the Prince(ss)’s Get You Down! Do you remember the children’s story about the Princess and the Pea? The Princess was the girl who was made so uncomfortable by the presence of a Pea under her mattress that she needed many many mattresses laid one on top of the other before she was…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[256,5,69],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-299","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-creative-expression","category-for-parents","category-weblogs"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/estrangements.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/299","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/estrangements.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/estrangements.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/estrangements.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/estrangements.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=299"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/estrangements.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/299\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/estrangements.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=299"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/estrangements.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=299"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/estrangements.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=299"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}