References Page
Page Contents:
Estrangement Defined
noun
An act of breaking away from a previously friendly relationship.
Thesaurus: separation, split, break-up, division, parting.
A state or feeling of being no longer friendly.
Thesaurus: dissociation, disaffection, hostility, antipathy, alienation, antagonism, breach.
Etymology: 15th century, from French estranger, from Latin extraneare to treat as a stranger.
This page was last updated on July 10, 2008. Added to the Book List is a Nancy Richards' most recent book, Heal & Forgive II: The Journey from Abuse and Estrangement to Reconciliation, in which she shares her personal story of family estrangement and reconciliation. Recent additions are marked with a heart: 
. To jump directly to one of the most recent additions, click here.
Books:
The following books, films, and articles may be helpful in dealing with loss, understanding the underpinnings of some estrangements, and with resolving estrangements. They may or may not relate to your personal situation.
I found the books on grief to be very helpful and recommend them highly. If you are looking for an answer to how to end your estrangement, then the books on grief may not appeal to you. The idea of grieving has connotations of irrevocable loss. The idea of that weighs heavy on the heart. However, it is possible to grieve and deal with those feelings and still keep the hope that the estrangement will end. Dealing with grief can make life feel worth living while waiting for a reconciliation or while looking for solutions.
Ambiguous Loss: Learning to Live with Unresolved Grief
"Bad" Mothers: The Politics of Blame in Twentieth-Century America
"These provocative and moving essays make it crystal clear that the Bad Mother label is applied with such disregard for the facts that it is on the border of superstition. The overwhelming evidence in these well-researched studies shows that we must fashion a much more healthy ideal of motherhood that actually works for the good of the whole family. I highly recommend this book as one step on that path." by Diane Meyer, author of MotherGuilt: How Our Culture Blames Mothers for What is Wrong With Society.
Bertha Alyce: Mother exPosed
This is a very unusual book that I found when I was shopping online for photography books. I have an interest in fine art photography. I purchased this book because it was both a text and photography book on a difficult mother/daughter relationship. Gay Block, author and photographer, is the daughter. Bertha Alyce, her mother, died in 1991. The book was published in 2003.
This book won't be for everyone. I found it fascinating and strange. There is nudity in it of both mother and daughter, individually and together.
Apparently Bertha Alyce was narcissistic. Gay Block describes some of the problems in their relationship but is vague on much of what caused her to dislike her mother from an early age. The reader needs to do a lot of reading between the lines.
This book takes a very different angle on how a daughter dealt with her feelings of estrangement from her mother. The estrangement wasn't one of being apart from each other. They were estranged while being in touch with each other. They were connected yet apart. Being physically in each other's presence did not deepen their relationship.
This book seemed almost cruel to me in that Gay Block photographs her mother as though Bertha Alyce were a fascinatingly deformed butterfly on a pin, unable to turn away from the gaze of her daughter and the lens of the camera. Is Gay Block attempting to understand her incomprehensible (to her) flawed mother? Or is she attempting to release all of her emotions for having the "wrong" kind of mother by exPosing her mother on film and on paper?
Since Bertha never saw the book as she died years ago, the author's family would be the ones who would be most affected by any embarrassment. It's not a pictorial Mommy Dearest but I wonder if the author's feelings that inspired her to do this book have any similarity to the feelings that inspired Mommy Dearest? A very strange book.
I am a person who feels private about my body. The idea of my mother and I being nude together or either one of us being nude in the presence of the other is not an appealing thought to me. The idea borders on horrifying because nudity has the connotation of vulnerability and intimacy and closeness. I would not feel comfortable being nude with my mother. I would not want to photograph her nude. Yet in Bertha Alyce, as much as these two women are so nude together, the lack of clothes does nothing to make them closer. In fact, it is almost as if the lack of emotional closeness caused Gay Block and her mother to remove their clothes, precisely because they are NOT close. Their estrangement may have made being nude and in photographs together easier rather than more difficult. They were that emotionally distant from each other that nudity didn't matter. This is my interpretation. The book is open to many interpretations.
There aren't many copies of this book available which is interesting to me too as I wouldn't have thought that the subject matter would have appealed to many people.
The Bill from My Father: A Memoir
I learned of this book from Mark Sichel, author of Healing From Family Rifts. I haven't yet read the book but it sounds fascinating. The author is the son of a Los Angeles divorce lawyer, now deceased, who might have been called a Daddy Dearest sort of father.
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships
The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate
I haven't read this one but saw it when I was updating Amazon links for books. It is by the same author who wrote THE DANCE OF ANGER. It sounds as though it might be helpful so I am adding it to the list.
Dean and Me: (A Love Story)
New, as of 2005, book by Jerry Lewis, comedian, actor, fundraiser for Muscular Dystrophy, about his relationship and subsequent estrangement with straight man, actor, and singer Dean Martin.
Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You
FAMILY LIES by Candida Eittreim.
"We are all fairly familiar with the stories of pain, loss and confusion adoptees have shared. How dislocated and displaced these children often feel. How the need to know lives at the core of their beings, an unending ache that only finding out the truth can ease. Victims of family lies feel this same ache, sense of betrayal and loss. Modern families are often multi –parented and multi-cultured. Many children were the result of unwed pregnancies. Often a parent will make the decision to lie or pretty up this portion of their lives. In other instances, a parent, grandparent or other relative may simply omit, or hide a very close family connection, due to disagreements, estrangements or outright dislike. Some hide history out of a sense of shame or embarrassment. The result is the same, a sense of betrayal, loss of confidence and a deep sense of not fitting anywhere."
I haven't read this book. Found the reference to it on the internet. Sounds as though it may be interesting. Credit for the quote above probably goes to the author. I found it on the website where the book is described.
Family Estrangements: How They Begin, How to Mend Them, How to Cope with Them
The author was estranged from her son. They have resolved their estrangement.
Family Wars: Classic Conflicts in Family Business and How to Deal with Them
A quote from an online article, Blood Ties, about the book, Family Wars: "For our book Family Wars, I and Grant Gordon (director general of the UK's Institute for Family Business) analysed 24 case histories worldwide, looking at some of the highest-profile family conflicts of recent times. We wanted to see what common themes they exhibited, and what lessons might be learned. They are an enthralling mix. There are awesome melodramas of skulduggery, double-cross, relentless vengeance and, in one case (the Gucci saga), even a hitman. Then there are more mundane but equally depressing stories - where families lock themselves into positions of increasing entrenchment."
FRAGMENTED FAMILIES: Patterns of Estrangement and Reconciliation
A thoughtful examination of familial estrangement from several perspectives: cultural, religious, historical, Biblical, and personal. Ellen Sucov is a retired psychologist who has had personal experience of the effects of estrangement in her own family. She speaks of the issues surrounding estrangement primarily from the perspective of the Jewish culture and religion but her thoughts on the topic can be extrapolated by the reader to other cultures and religions. The author has an excellent website about the book with additional thoughts and information on familial estrangements at www.fragmentedfamilies.com.
For Mothers of Difficult Daughters; How to Enrich and Repair the Relationship in Adulthood
The Grief Recovery Handbook : The Action Program for Moving Beyond Death Divorce, and Other Losses
Grown-Up Children Who Won't Grow Up
Heal & Forgive: Forgiveness in the Face of Abuse
Heal and Forgive II: The Journey from Abuse and Estrangement to Reconciliation
Healing From Family Rifts : Ten Steps to Finding Peace After Being Cut Off From a Family Member
Mark offers good advice to those who are suffering from the initial shock and pain of becoming estranged.
Heavy Snow - My Father's Disappearance into Alzheimer's
A book on a difficult relationship between a father and son which ends with the son's struggle to care for his father when the father develops Alzheimer's. A synopsis
Her Mother's Daughter: A Memoir of the Mother I Never Knew and of My Daughter, Courtney Love
I Am My Mother's Daughter: Making Peace With Mom-before It's Too Late
If the Creek Don't Rise
The Immune Spirit: A Story of Love, Loss and Healing; One Woman's Triumph over Breast Cancer, from the Mother of Meg Ryan
I have read this book. While I found it interesting and could relate to some of what Susan Jordan had experienced in her life, it wasn't a helpful book as far as furthering my own understanding of estrangement. It is a good book to read in that her story has parallels to others and can help others know that the experience is not unique. I could empathize with her feelings and with her experiences.
I've noticed that several authors who have written books on estrangement and who have been estranged from their adult children write well on the experience of becoming and being estranged but generally they haven't found a way to resolve the estrangement. They write books but they generally don't have any more answers that the rest of us do. Assuming that an "answer" means resolution. Maybe this means that often the "answer" must be something else. Like acceptance or finding meaning in life and self worth that don't depend on the presence of all of our family members?
I Thought We'd Never Speak Again: The Road from Estrangement to Reconciliation
To get perspective on Laura Davis's history of writing books and this book in particular, this Salon.com article, Truth and Reconciliation by Julia Gracen, May 22, 2002 about Davis's book is enlightening. I would suggest reading it before ordering and reading I Thought We'd Never Speak Again.
I've read part of I Thought We'd Never Speak Again. Years ago I read Davis's The Courage to Heal. Her writing has helped a lot of people deal with their experiences of having been abused sexually. However, her writing on recovered memories in The Courage to Heal has resulted in heartache and estrangement in families where people took her advice regarding recovered memories to heart and believed that in every case where a therapist assisted them in recovering a memory, that the recovered memory was the absolute truth and the same as a memory that didn't need to be recovered. Then they estranged themselves from their families, based on their belief in the truth of those recovered memories. Now she writes a book on estrangements? Do you see the irony?
Davis is a good writer and researcher. I feel better after reading her words rather than worse. However, due to the controversy over her writing I include here the link to the Salon.com article as well as the link to the website for the False Memory Syndrome Foundation. Families have had relationships destroyed due to the belief that abuse occurred that never occurred.
I had a therapist at one time who was a bit more eager than she should have been in telling me that I may have been the victim of overt sexual abuse by a man, possibly a grandparent, when I was a toddler. There wasn't any evidence of overt sexual abuse by my grandfather although I did experience covert sexual abuse at the hands of another relative and remember that abuse very clearly.
That is an abuse too .... to put forth a course of action in therapy or in thinking that results in a tragically unfair decision to estrange oneself and in abuse of others who have done nothing wrong. Therapists can have enormous power and influence in the role that they play in patients' lives. Consequently, I keep that in mind when reading Laura Davis's latest book. I find that it is easy for me to assume that a good writer has all the answers when I am enjoying their writing style and get as comfortable in the pages of their book as I have with Laura Davis's book on reconciliation.
As I read closely and think about some of the tragedies that have occurred in families in the years between the publications of these two books, I know that it makes sense not to allow myself to get too comfortable. Books are for getting us to think, not for providing the bottom line answer to our problems. We are the ones who have to make the decisions regarding the resolution to our problems.
Thinking about these issues makes me want to recommend Davis's book with caution, even though I like her writing. If you scroll down in this page to a link (#21 in the Articles listings below) to a Washington Post article, you can read more about an estrangement and the destruction of a family that occurred due to the actions of a psychiatrist after he was consulted to treat a woman for ADD and convinced her that she had been the victim of satanic abuse that never occurred.
The Official Laura Davis website
Make Peace with Anyone: Breakthrough Strategies to Quickly End Any Conflict, Feud, or Estrangement
Making Loss Matter : Creating Meaning in Difficult Times
I've only read the book jacket and taken a quick look inside. It is written from a different perspective than one I usually venture into: a religious perspective. Since many people do find support through religion, I include it here. I may even read it one of these days! I bought it on sale and liked what I read on the book jacket. A quote from the jacket: "...how do I make this loss meaningful? Its origin was a mystery. What would be its end? Could I, with the power of my own hand and heart, turn a painful inexplicable loss into a generator of purpose and hope?"
From Mother and Daughter to Friends: A Memoir
Similar in spirit to the book by Susan Jordan. I recommend this book for the same reasons as Jordan's book. There are no answers but you may find some similarities to your own estrangement.
My Mother's Daughter: A Memoir
The relationship between Rona Maynard and her sister, Joyce Maynard has been troubled but has improved in recent years. They wrote an article together that was published in the Canadian and U.S. editions of MORE Magazine. Their stories are also on their respective websites at ronamaynard.com (click the Popular Articles link) and joycemaynard.com.
The Nurture Assumption: Why Children Turn Out the Way They Do
A good read for those who are interested in theories on how and why we turn out the way that we do. Having been one of those people who used to blame so much on parents, this book gave me a different perspective on the influence in our lives of the group, the people with whom we came into contact besides our immediate family. A provocative and interesting book that might help you let go of some of your sense of over-responsibility if you are the sort, like me, who has blamed yourself for everything that ever happened with your kids or has blamed other parents for everything that happened with their kids. There are other factors at work. None of us are all powerful. Recognizing the power of other factors helps to put things into a healthier perspective.
Remarried with Children: Ten Secrets for Successfully Blending and Extending Your Family
Step By Wicked Step
Summary: Five schoolmates share the stories of their parents' estrangements, divorces, and remarriages and the effects these events have had on their lives.
Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care about Has Borderline Personality Disorder
I recommend this book highly to anyone who has a relative who has Borderline Personality Disorder. I reread it whenever enough time has passed that I begin to forget what it has to say. It can help you keep your sanity when it seems as though the insane are running the asylum.
This 'n' That
My Mother's Keeper
Turbulent Souls:: A Catholic Son's Return To His Jewish Family
From Stephen J. Dubner's website: "Only when he reached his twenties did he discover his parents' extraordinary story, a story full of bitter estrangements, hard-fought triumphs, and deep secrets (Ethel Rosenberg, executed as an atomic spy in 1953, was his mother's first cousin). In excavating the story, he felt the tug of the religion his parents had abandoned and began to pursue it as vigorously as they had pursued their adopted faith. Along the way, he met dozens of his own Jewish relatives, traveled to his grandparents' shtetl in Poland, re-created the life of his late father, wrestled with the implications of the Holocaust, and saw his relationship with his mother curdle so thoroughly that it would fall to the Archbishop of New York, John Cardinal O'Connor, to help broker a peace.
Turbulent Souls is a luminous memoir, crafted with the eye of a journalist and the art of a novelist. In turns comic and heartbreaking, it tells the story of a family torn apart by religion, sustained by faith, and reunited by the truth that is revealed in these pages. "
Unless: A Novel (P.S.)
Excellent writing. Estrangement between a young woman and her family plays a central role in the story but the story itself is more about other issues such as women writers and their treatment in the literary world, the world of writers and writing, the process of writing, and women's anger at being trivialized and overlooked.
When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us : Letting Go of Their Problems, Loving Them Anyway, and Getting on with Our Lives
When Parents Hurt: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don't Get Along
Why Is It Always About You? Saving Yourself from the Narcissists in Your Life
Like Borderline Personality Disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder wreaks havoc on relationships and families. People who are pathologically narcissistic tend to cut off anyone who says anything that they perceive as being critical. If they don't cut off a relationship, they still tend to be so difficult that they wear poorly on friends and relatives.
Sometimes I think that we would do well to offer classes in personality disorders in public schools so that we had some clue as to the crazymaking personalities that we are fated to encounter when we grow up and find ourselves wondering who is the crazy person – us or the person who seems to be working at driving us crazy?
You're Wearing That?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation
Good book that gives insight into how words are heard with more than their literal meaning by mothers and daughters when they talk with each other. Gives examples of how problems arise and suggestions for ways of avoiding conflict. The author is a linguist, not a therapist, so take note of that when reading the book. Tannen's interest is in words rather than in providing answers to solving relationship problems. But this is a fascinating read and does give a different take on words and the relationships between mothers and daughters. I've read this one and would recommend it.
Articles:
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Forgiveness And Other Myths in an Age of Apology: 5 Articles in the March-April 1999 issue (No. 92) of Utne Reader.
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Cults, Estrangements, and Gaming. Jan. 8, 2002. An article, Cults by Bryan Jonker, and below the article are some links about cults. There is some interesting discussion on cults and how they work. I am not clear on how this relates to gaming (and realize that gaming is not the interest of most who are interested in these links) but thought the discussion sounded good enough to include the link here.
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Mend a Family Estrangement (online article based on writing of Barbara LeBey, author of Family Estrangements.
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Kat Giantis online article on mother daughter estrangements that are blamed on the mothers' unacceptable behavior. Included in the list of links above under Demi Moore but also included here because other celebrity daughter/mother relationships are mentioned.
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Truth and Reconciliation by Julia Gracen. May 22, 2002. Article about Laura Davis's book, I Thought We'd Never Speak Again which is referenced above.
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Mark Sichel's Psybersquares site. Articles on family estrangements
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An Islamic perspective on estrangement: Islam Online, Feb. 20, 2004: "My Uncle has told my mother that he doesn't want to see our family ever again. What is our duty in this position considering we did nothing to upset him or his family?"
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The History of Mother's Day: A telegram sent by Anna Jarvis defined the purpose of the day: "...To revive the dormant filial love and gratitude we owe to those who gave us birth. To be a home tie for the absent. To obliterate family estrangement. ..."
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A Catholic perspective: "Estrangement from adult daughter due to her w/Pentacostal fiancee: QUESTION from Colleen on February 22, 2004"
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Ideas for Strengthening the Mother-Daughter Bond, May 4, 2004, Argosy University.
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Bury the Hatchet by Barbara LeBey. May-June 2003 issue of the AARP's magazine.
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Before the Sun goes Down, A Christian Biblical perspective: "Estrangements between friends should not be permitted to continue over night. It is a scriptural counsel that we should not let the sun go down upon our wrath."
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About Goans & Family Feuds, Family Feuds by Ema Souza Colaco - By Ben Antao & Aloysius D'Souza
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I want vengeance on my narcissistic mother: She didn't pull the trigger, but I blame her for my brother's suicide. On Salon.com. A question posted on an advice column, October 6, 2005, by Cary Tennis on Salon.com. You may need to watch a brief advertisement to read the article unless you are registered already on Salon.com.
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Link on The Lantern Project to a Washington Post Article: "A Broken Marriage And a Life Destroyed" by By Sandra G. Boodman and Patricia Davis, Washington Post Staff Writers, Sunday, September 28, 2003; Page A21. Describes the destruction of a family by a psychiatrist who manipulated his patient and caused her to believe falsely that she had suffered abuse from a satanic cult. These beliefs and mistreatment by the psychiatrist resulted in her becoming estranged from her husband and the family breaking apart. The link on the Lantern Project site to the original article doesn't bring the article up but it is available in full at this link on the Lantern Project.
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Note: This and the next four articles are all on the issue of forgiveness. All are excellent and recommended.
Beginning Again in Love, A Sermon by Kathy Lehman. -
Forgive for Good, An Interview with author Fred Luskin.
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The Power of Forgiveness by Naomi Drew M.A.
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Forgiveness: The Mandela Principle by Rev. Victor H. Carpenter
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Give Yourself Up by Rev. Kim K. Crawford Harvie, Arlington Street Church, November 13, 2005
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Letting Go of Our Adult Children by Arlene F. Harder, M.A., M.F.T.
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It’s Never Too Late To Have A Good Relationship With Your Grown Children (Your Parents or Your Ex-Spouse, Too) by Suzanne E. Harrill
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A Gift for My Daughter by Harry Browne
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Borderline Rage, an article by Anthony Walker, M.D.
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Daughter Therapy, an article by Lois June Wickstrom
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Narcissism and the Borderline Experience, Self described borderline talks about similarities between NPD & BPD.
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The Stockholm Syndrome: The Mystery of Loving an Abuser.
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The Way They Were by Brooke Lea Foster. A Sept./Oct. 2006 article on adult children and their reaction to their divorcing parents in the AARP's magazine & online.
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I won't be home for Christmas. Article on samesame.com about the stresses of being gay and lesbian and relating or not relating to family on the holidays.
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Farm Families Challenged to Deal with Emotional Side of Farm Transfers. Article in Lancaster Farming, February 29, 2008. Quote from article: "For the past 36 years, Dr. Ron Hanson has been on a mission to help families successfully transfer the farm without a family breakup. It has personal meaning because Hanson was the product of a family farm blowup between his parents and grandparents."
Movies
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Million Dollar Baby. Clint Eastwood as Frankie Dunn. Hilary Swank as Maggie Fitzgerald. Morgan Freeman as Scrap. Boxing trainer Frankie Dunn's estrangement from his daughter is a wound that never heals. He hopes for reconciliation but his letters go unread. Maggie is a 30 year old woman who dreams of succeeding at being a boxer. Nothing else in her life gives her any hope or sustenance. Her family is a wasteland of manipulative mindbogglingly selfish people who have no love to offer. Frankie and Maggie bond to form a relationship that gives both something that they can't get elsewhere. This is a love story of a different sort. Official Movie Website
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He Got Game. A Spike Lee Film. A central issue is the father son relationship/estrangement.
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Nothing in Common. Jackie Gleason as the father and Tom Hanks as the son. Classified as a comedy but is also a tragedy. It is a story of the very difficult relationship between a father and a son. Available on video. Review by Roger Ebert: The link is no longer good but I'm going to look for another.
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Magnolia Official Site: Very intense movie. Estrangement as a human condition is one theme. There are two sets of relationships that are estranged: a father/son relationship and a father/daughter relationship.
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Terms of Endearment, Debra Winger, Shirley MacLaine, and Jack Nicholson. A tragic story about the difficult relationship between a mother and daughter. On video
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The Limey, 1999. A story about a father and ex-con who has been estranged from his daughter. After he learns that she has been murdered, he travels from Britain to the U.S. to investigate and avenge her murder.
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The Hours, 2003. A day in the lives of 3 women. An estrangement plays a pivotal role in the film.
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Daughter of Suicide. An HBO documentary film by Dempsey Rice whose mother, Bonnie Rice, committed suicide in 1987. Bonnie Rice and her two daughters were estranged from each other.
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In Her Shoes. 2005 Movie with Cameron Diaz, Shirley Maclaine, and Toni Collette. All these sisters have in common is their shoe size. A lightweight examination of the underpinnings of estrangement. Enjoyable if not deep. Cameron Diaz is always fun. Maclaine portrays getting older with dignity and elegance. Toni Collette is the example of the overly responsible good girl who needs to let her hair down. Cameron is the one who can't keep her hair up ... metaphorically.
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Memories of Me. 1988. The son, Abbie, is played by Billy Crystal, Abe, the father, by Alan King. The son is a hardworking surgeon who has problems with his heart in more than one way. He hasn't been able to sustain a close relationship with anyone. Then he suffers a heart attack which makes him go and visit the wisecracking actor father with whom he has had a distant and difficult relationship. Abe has played more than his share of parts as an extra. His behavior as a father left something to be desired. This movie is poignant and alternately funny and sad.
From the movie:
Alan King: "It's like old times. You and me talking about our problems."
Billy Crystal: "We never talked about our problems!"
Alan King: "Why talk about problems?" -
Dolores Claiborne. 1995. Based on a Stephen King book, the movie is about whether the curmudgeonly mother, played by Kathy Bates, killed her abusive husband years ago and later her employer, Vera Donovan, or did bad accidents follow her around. Central to the story is her distant relationship with her daughter, Salina, who shows up for the first time after 15 years when Vera is found dead with Dolores standing over her with a marble rolling pin in her hands. Salina has been estranged from Dolores and is bitter, angry, exasperated and unbelieving of her mother's explanation of what happened.
In one scene the mother describes her husband's brutal physical abuse of her to Salina who wants to remember her father as a loving respectable dad and resists any facts that don't fit in with that image. Salina responds to the tale of abuse with, "What do you want me to say? Thanks for sharing?" and then, "I'm sorry, Mother. Sometimes being a bitch is the only thing a woman has to hold on to." A statement echoed years previously in almost the same words by Dolores' employer, Vera Donovan, when told by Dolores of the husband's abuse of both Dolores and Salina prior to his death. -
Margot at the Wedding is as raw and painful as real life, a Dec. 14, 2007 review by Jay Stone on the OttawaCitizen.com. I hope to see this movie. Nicole Kidman and Jennifer Jason Leigh play the roles of sisters estranged.
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The Darjeeling Limited. Dec. 14, 2007 movie review by Eliza Cracknell on news.com australia. Three brothers who have not spoken for a year go on a trip. Brothers played by Jason Schwartzmann, Adrian Brody, and Owen Wilson.
PLAYS
- Buried Child, a Sam Shepard play, reviewed by Bryce Hallett on September 27, 2002. Quote from Hallett's review: "'We're just this incredible race of strangers,'" the playwright once remarked, and it is this hard, telling insight which can be seen to constantly drive his explorations of family, identity and independence. The fragile, perhaps illusory, family ties evoked by Shepard are just as likely to set people apart as bind them."
