Cappucino drive-thru
by Mara McWilliams
Cappuccino drive-thru,
No thoughts about you.
My life is picking up momentum
And yeah, I wanted to share it with them,
but emotionally, they have nothing to give.
Thoughts of sending an email.
But now, I’d rather just leave you guessin’
what I am thinking.
‘Course it’ll happen again.
Music pumping, speakers thumpin,
Screaming out the lyrics because I can relate.
You love ‘em because you’re supposed to,
when what you really feel is hate.
Either I walk away
or accept this fucked fate.
Can’t be different than who I am
This desire to please them is wearing thin
Years accepting all the blame
till I had enough
and stopped playing their warped game.
Three years went by,
my child growing and
time flying.
I figured,
why not try,
just one more time.
Interactions are fine until they’re not.
Backhanded compliments I simply shrug off.
Nothing new,
nothing’s changed,
they’re still the same.
A power struggle under the surface.
They pushed and pulled
revealing the worse in themselves.
And I’m not sticking around to see how it plays out.
The pain I feel is my internal shout.
A piercing pain through my heart.
Whether they’re in my life or not.
Forever grieving the parents I never got.
Mara McWilliams 2006 ©
Used on Estrangements.com with the permission of
Mara McWilliams.
This poem and artwork may not be used without the explicit permission of the author.
Mara's website:
Recovery Through Art.

Estrangement
by Mara McWilliams
Family estrangement
so much better
than strangulation
Tired of the lies
like flies
That swarm around you
and your murky presence.
Altered reality isn’t
just your perception of it.
Trying to manipulate me,
Controlling every situation.
Everything you claim to be
Is completely contrary
To how you behave.
Yet I am expected to act loyally?
As what,
A testament to your insanity?
Aren’t the scars an my arm
reminder enough?
I’m my parent.
Now and always.
Jealous of kids
Whose parents are dead.
Stuck in the ground and DONE.
No more nothing
Sign, sealed, dead and delivered.
Haullejalluah free at last
Outta my head
Outta this reality
Would I then be
Free of how you damaged me?
Mara McWilliams
Copyright 2006©
Used on Estrangements.com with the permission of
Mara McWilliams.
This poem and artwork may not be used without the explicit permission of the author.
Mara's website:
Recovery Through Art.